How to restart a blog. Again.

I guess I've been gone long enough that blogger has completely revamped their look.

Here's the problem. I haven't really written anything in a year. Blog included. I would say I've been busy, but that's only true in spurts. I would say I've been watching Lost, but that is a LAME excuse (especially considering Season 3. And 5 and 6.). Or I could pat myself on the back while saying, "I've been editing my collection of short stories--due out this fall on Grey Sparrow Press." But that's not a time-eater, really. And it's fairly pretentious.

So I'll stick with: I'm a little anxious. Almost a year ago, I finished up my Master's, which is great for my career path (career path, what's that?) but pretty terrible for my place in a writing community. While I was at UNO, I had comrades in writing, mentors to help me pluck those pesky adverbs out, and ... deadlines. I can't tell you how much I love a good deadline. Something about the shaky anxiousness (I know anxiety is the word--but doesn't "shaky anxiousness" sound so much better?) and the "will he do it?"-ness. Not having a deadline, for me, is much more terrifying. A far more ferocious anxiety. The anxiety that comes with the unknown. What will I write next? (And who? And why?)

I teach freshman composition at a small Christian college. I love it. They come in so energized, so full of ideas and answers and ways to change the world, and it's my job (in addition to teaching about the MLA format) to suggest that they ask bigger questions, to tell them that complex problems call for complex solutions, to ask them to straddle the unknown. I like to say I love gray area. And I do, mostly because it's a place where people can meet, no matter who they are or where they come from. But the flip side of the unknown is the same as the anxiety that comes with blank pages and screens. It's the paralysis of where do I go next.

But we soldier on. We find a way to turn off the TV and hurl questions into the dark. Maybe we start a blog. Maybe we restart a blog. Again.

It's a process, isn't it?