Residency

I'm in Nebraska at my graduate school residency. Actually, I'm currently listening to some faculty read from their work. I like some of it; others I'm not so high on. But readings are weird. I miss the music. I suppose I'm a songwriter before anything else. Although my short stories are ratcheting up.

So this residency takes place in Nebraska City at the Arbor Lodge, this big conference center slash hotel. It's beautiful, lots of bare unlumbered wood. If you didn't know, Nebraska invented arbor day because no trees grow here naturally. But they sure did bring in some beauties.

I brought my mini studio with me. Today I recorded an EP. I'll release it for free soon. It's called Shorts: it contains five short songs, three clocking in at under two minutes. It's just me and my '81 Guild so, if you like that sort of thing, then I imagine you'll dig it.

Middle School Graduation

I'm unemployed in two days. But today I'm enjoying our middle school eighth grade graduation. I don't remember having a ceremony. I'm not bitter or anything though; I didn't particularly enjoy any of my graduations. Although in all honesty, I don't remember my preschool ceremony. Apparently my name was announced followed by, "He wants to be a clown when he grows up." Never did achieve that one, but hey, I got a whole life ahead. What did you want to be when you graduated preschool? Middle school? High school? College? Did it change from station to station? What happens to a dream defered?

P.S. If you're on some sort of middle school graduation committee, just buy a copy of Pomp and Circumstance. There is zero glory in the seventh and eighth grade orchestral version.

Something I've never done

There's something I need to ask my mother about and I can't for the life of me remember. Or rather, now that I have my phone in my pocket I can't remember. When my phone is upstairs I have no trouble remembering, but then the minute I have the phone in my hand I can't remember. I know there's some research out there saying that our short term memories are being affected by not having to remember things like phone numbers (because they're kept in our phones) but I didn't expect my memory to be tied so closely to my phone.

I did something I've never done this week. I showed up at a new job and quit within an hour. I like to think of myself as a hard worker and usually a humble worker. I've worked fast food and group homes and college recruiting and I think I've done a lot of different things with approximately the same effort. But Tuesday I showed up to paint a house in St. Paul and all the people wanted painted was the second and third story trim. I've known about this painting job for some time and I've been psyching myself up for it. I thought I had a mild fear of heights and I did have a small knot in my stomach about it. It turns out that I'm terrified of heights. I got maybe six feet off the ground, up one of those flimsy aluminum ladders and I started sweating and my heart started pounding and my hands and legs started shaking. It was bad (and embarrassing). I think I could have climbed up the ladder and come back down, given enough time anyway, but the idea of spending all day 25 feet up on a ladder, reaching around to scrape and paint trim ... no way. So I quit. I still feel terrible about it. But I would have been a waste of money at that job. It's a strange thing to say "I can't do it."

When I was in fourth grade at Fair Oaks Elementary School in Brooklyn Park, MN our school slogan was "Every kid a winner every day." Problem 1: the sentence is missing an "is". Problem 2: some days we're losers. Some things we can't do. I can't hit a 90 mile an hour fastball regularly enough to play Major League Baseball. I couldn't really hit a 70 mph fastball often enough to play Babe Ruth baseball in middle school. I think I could practice hard every day and still not hit that 90 mph fastball, let alone a breaking ball of any kind. And I feel totally fine with that. Maybe we should be teaching kids to be proud of their strengths, aware of their weaknesses, and that basic human worth isn't built on either of those things.

Good thing my self-worth isn't tied into my short-term memory.

4 years

Today I have been married for 4 years. And I have to tell you that, for me, it has been amazing. I'm sure Sarah wishes I picked up after myself a bit more, but I think I've done an alright job. If someone would have asked me five years ago, before Sarah and I started dating, where I saw myself in five years, I'm not sure what I would have said. I know I wouldn't have said, Married, with a kid, a dog, a cat (A CAT!), and another baby on the way. Oh yeah, and two cars, a mortgage, halfway through grad school and unemployed. None of those things would have been on my list. But I wouldn't change any of them. Except unemployed. But we count our blessings right? And I'm certain to have a job in the next two weeks, I can feel it. Just in time to leave for ten days of grad school ...

Have a great Fourth of July everyone (and by everyone I, of course, mean the three people who read this).