The subject line is from a super creepy R. Kelly song. I do think there are some important laws about age and what you can and cannot do at certain ages and I'm glad Mr. Kelly spent some time in jail for violating, but at some point age does just become a number, right? I turn 29 next week - my last year in my twenties for those of you who are awesome at math - and after a trip to the doctor yesterday and some general dissatisfaction about my job situation and my ability to do the things I love to do, I've decided to buck my personal belief that age doesn't matter much at all and proclaim a couple personal declarations of benchmarks I'd like to meet by the time I turn the big 3-0. The quick question that ought to follow this is: Why make it public? First of all, this blog is hardly public - if a tree falls in the yada yada yada. But secondly (is that a word?), I've spent the last 29 years with myself and it's been great and full of wonderful ideas and little follow through. Maybe this is a lesser version of a marriage vow for me.
1. Thirty by Thirty. This is where is started for me. I'd like to lose thirty pounds. It's like a half a pound a week and I think totally feasible. I don't like to talk about weight mostly because I think it doesn't really matter all that much. But I'm a little handicapped what with a bum pancreas and everything. And now I have two stinkin' cute kids.
2. Thirty Percent. I currently have thirty percent of my thesis published in small corners of the literary world. I'd like to double that.
3. 30k. I don't think we are what we make. I think I've been pretty adamant about that in my life. And I don't want to make 30k just because I think I'm worth that - there's a good chance I'm not and, in the global scheme of things, there's a good chance nobody is. But here, in America, with some of the monetary choices I've made (cough*amplifiersandguitarsoncredit*cough) I think it would be nice if my wife didn't have to work so much and maybe we could spend some more time together. And with the kids. Like all of us together, instead of three-quarters at a time.
4. I've run out of 30s, but I'd like to finally complete a record and be proud of it. I have one song that's 80% done that I'm really proud of. Sarah said, "It sounds just like you're supposed to sound." I think you'd all like it. I'd like 10 songs like that.
5. Novel. I worked on a novel for something like seven years and I got to the end and was glad I had done it but I knew that it was mostly terrible and I cut some of it up in to stories and threw some of it away and maybe some day I'll fall in love with some scraps and bits of it, but right now I can't fix it. So I'd like to start over. I have one that pushing at the sides of my skull. I just have to take the time to put it all down. In a year.
Doesn't everyone feel better now that I've got that off my chest? I sure do.
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